Optimistic Aging: Honor Yourself
Happy Tuesday, friends! After three days inside, I find myself thinking once again about OPTIMISTIC AGING: HONOR YOURSELF.
What I mean is that optimistic aging really is about the call to honor yourself…and there are many ways to do this…that is why I am writing about it weekly.
Three days of pajamas and socks reminds me of how quickly we can slip into despondency if we do not take time for ourselves.
Oh, I know, three days is not much…but there was a time in my life that I went years without honoring myself.
During my time as a working mother, I put me at the bottom of the priority list.
I said to myself that others were more important and there was no time to take care of me.
It is so easy as we age to allow illness, winter doldrums, or even caregiving to take us to that same low valley where we do not honor ourselves.
I received a wake-up call early on…so allow me to be your wake-up call today.
OPTIMISTIC AGING: HONOR YOURSELF: I DID
Stacy London, in her book The Truth About Style, explained perfectly how taking care of ourselves and our appearance is transformative.
It was for me. Once I shed the oversized message tee shirts and the frumpy fitting jeans; practiced skincare; put on makeup; and took my hair out of the pony tail…I could feel improvement in my state of mind.
I did not have much money at the time, but I read and learned how to improve my appearance and then shopped affordable stores and thrift.
It became fun….and even more fun were the comments as co-workers, family and friends took notice. It really was empowering.
By taking small steps daily to improve my outsides, I discovered that when you honor yourself, you can do more and serve others more with joy.
Now, when I go through times like right now when I am in my extreme comfy clothing for long periods, I get anxious to get back to self-care.
That is not a selfish statement…self care just means I can do more for others. Despondent people are stagnant and shut down….I was getting that way before I woke up to all I could be.
It does not take a lot of time and it does not take a lot of money.
No matter your situation or age, take just a few moments every day…for you.
If you are staying in…bathe, do your hair, care for your complexion, and wear something comfy but something that helps you to feel comfy in your own skin.
Avoid the negative thinking of “why bother” or “I am too old.” Just begin to do this anyway and watch how you will feel.
I honestly feel better about myself at age 72 than I did when I first began to care for me at age 50. And I am so glad that I learned to honor me.
OPTIMISTIC AGING: HONOR YOURSELF: LEGACY
I want to share with you a story that I have shared before.
I wrote this for The Huffington Post in 2015 about a woman who had a huge impact on me as a child.
Please do not toss out the reason for this story because she was wealthy.
In fact, I later met a car salesman who spoke the same way of his mother who dressed and carried herself with elegance while dressing out of donation barrels and living in projects.
She made each day special and honored herself and her family. I loved listening to the story of his mother.
The conversation with him began after I complimented his jacket. That was when he said, my mother taught me to always look my best, no matter what was in my day.
Now, to read about Mrs. Burns who left a legacy with me, just click on LEAVING A LEGACY THROUGH PERSONAL STYLE.
Ladies, if you are experiencing some depression and have ceased to care for yourself, please consider changing that today…even in a small way.
Do it for yourself….Optimistic Aging: Honor Yourself…is a place to begin.
And if you know someone who needs this encouragement…pass it on, please…life is too short not to live it with joy.
EMBRACE TODAY & KEEP SMILING!
By Pamela Lutrell
For all your shopping, please use the links on my SHOPPING PAGE…thank you, thank you to all who shop this way and show support for this blog. It means the world.
So, so, so true! Every word. As I was reading today, I was thinking there are maybe natural times in life when we are in danger of letting ourselves go. A young, working mom; a new retiree; a new divorcee or widowhood; a caregiver. And that that is -exactly- when it matters most. There really isn’t an either/or in taking care of yourself vs others. My biggest style takeaway in retirement was that some of my clothes budget needed to go into nicer clothes “just” to wear at home. As though home were not as important as the workplace. Head scratching how we think sometimes.
One great thing about getting older is that suddenly many things make sense and I have often wondered why did I wait so long. But this is important for all of us…no matter our ages. Thank you for sharing, Linda.
I love the picture of you Pam beside the lit tree. Very pretty! Some days I may just put my hair back, apply sunscreen and brush my teeth.
I find the healthiest and best way I can take of myself is get outside. Regardless the temperature. Bundle up and go. I’m 65, two knee and a hip replacement. Exercise and movement were the very best therapy. We have a dog who really doesn’t care how we feel, she needs to go. She’s quite the blessing because she knows what’s good for us. 😊
I’m prone to anxiety, depression, and worry. It’s something I don’t understand and often times think, “this is ridiculous”! Just adjust your thoughts. Not easy! But again, exercise keeps it at bay. And prayer. Thanks for your blog Pam!
What an interesting story from your childhood and your lovely Mrs. Burns. My mother was one who always dressed up even when driving to the grocery store. She was one of those overdressed, rather than underdressed women, and I tend to be too, even if running to Walmart.
I have to tell you a funny thing that happened to me yesterday and made me think of you. I ran in TJ Maxx to look at purses and they had a nice selection of Patricia Nash purses…which made me think of you. Anyway, I was looking at these purses and a woman walking by picked up a green purse from the display and said “ You need to wear green, like this. Seriously, you do.”. I thanked her and wondered why she saw or said that a good color for me as I was wearing a purple turtleneck and black jacket, but I took it as a compliment. I often tell people, strangers that I like something they are wearing or a pretty color, but don’t often have strangers say that to me.
Thanks for being here, Kelley and sharing.
How fun is that, Celia! I love to speak to women when shopping! Also, one of my favorite color combinations is purple and green!
SO true….so many women just give up! I try to get dressed and look presentable each day – and people say “where are you going, what are you all dressed up for” – for ME!
Yes!! Everything you said is true. So many things are around us in daily life that can drag us down if we let it happen. Honoring ourselves, our surroundings, and the beautiful day God gave us is the key.
Yes! For you!
I agree, Marcia! Thank you.
Pamela — what a lovely story. It reminds me of visiting my aunt when I was a child. Walking into her home was like stepping into another world: everything was always spotless, she was impeccably put together, and she lovingly tended violets in her kitchen. To my knowledge, she never worked outside the home, and since she didn’t drive, my uncle took her wherever she wished to go. It was so different from my own home life that I placed her on a pedestal.
On one visit to see an older relative, I managed to stain a silk cushion with black jellybeans. When no one was looking, my aunt quietly picked up the cushion and, with complete grace, turned it over. She smiled, and shortly afterward, we ended the visit. That was more than 65 years ago, yet I still think of her every time I see violets or black jellybeans. She always brings to mind Eleanor Roosevelt’s words: “A woman is like a tea bag—you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”
Thank you for sharing your aunt with us, Janet. I love the jelly bean story!
There is so much going on around us daily that can pull us down and as I am easily depressed I find that if I at least get out of the pajamas and put on a little makeup it makes a big difference in my mood for the day.
I know it will help…I have experienced that even amidst trials. When we cease to care for ourselves we are opening a door to deeper depression and giving it permission to take control. Just baby steps of self care begins to take back that control.
Thank you for sharing your story. And, I must agree with your words here today. I’m 65+ but still working. One of the things I enjoy about that is dressing up each morning. Our workplace is very casual, but I tend to be overdressed. My plan is to retire in about a year, but I still plan on keeping a wardrobe that I enjoy and makes me feel good.
I have struggled with meeting the demands of caregiving. This month marks the start of my ninth year in this role. My nature is generally upbeat, and I have taken self-care seriously, dressing well to face each day. Nonetheless, internally I have felt as if on an endless errand, especially since losing my mother almost two years ago. Even though she needed some caretaking, she also provided what she could to my dad, especially the emotional support. I have very recently taken stock of the situation, in a prayerful and soul searching kind of way, and decided to ask my husband (who also requires my care to a lesser degree) if we could a) sell my father’s house and move him in with us, and b) sell our house and move up north into a home better suited to accomodate our needs and, most importantly for my overall happiness, close to our grown sons. I feel the caregiving burden will feel much lighter under a single roof, and knowing I have the joy of being near my boys all the time. Luckily, my husband agreed. 💗 I have just created a lot of extra work and some stress for myself….but in the end, hopefully by summer, I will again find my optimistic self, ready to continue giving my best.
I know this is hard, Connie, but I do believe you are thinking in the right direction to make life more manageable and enjoyable for you. I would support anything you can do to help with all of this…it is ALOT for one person. It was very difficult for me to place my mom in assisted living. But, she reached a point with her anger where she actually tried to push me down and said it was to break my hip and make me suffer. OK, that was a moment when I called one of my brothers and he helped to find her a good place. Did it make her happy? No not at all, but it did give me reassurance that it was OK to take care of me in the process. Living to navigate a toxic dose of her dementia was a challenge…but we got through it. So what will help you…I have so enjoyed getting to know your optimistic self online and would not like my friend to lose that completely.
I know you are having an impact on those younger workers when you “overdress” for the day. I am certain they notice…and I am certain that working until now has been a benefit to you. Thanks for sharing, Beth.
One of the first pieces of advice I was given as a care giver was to take care of myself because you can’t pour from an empty cup. This advice carried over into widowhood. Every day, I get up, dress up & show up even if I am only doing it for myself.
Janet’s story of her aunt reminded me of my aunt. She was single until late in life & had job, but I loved going to her house & had great admiration for her.
Would you consider doing a post on what you recommend for skin care, what you use, etc.? Thanks!
I don’t know if you will see this so late in the day, but I just now was able to read your kind reply. I wanted to thank you. Thank you for really hearing me, and for always speaking to these important matters. I am sorry for what you experienced with your mother.
Yes…I will do that soon, Nancy! I have been experimenting and learning new things in the skin care recently.
That phrase…you can’t pour out of an empty cup…is powerful. Thanks for sharing Becky.